Two Investigators of Bucharest or A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Font

Combine young Mormon missionaries with Romanians who speak no English and pretty hilarious things can happen.  With life in the Washington, D.C. area logistically difficult, some locals have fled the area until after the inauguration.  Last night, D.C.-resident in-laws hunkered down with us in North Georgia told us a true story about how language, religion and culture got seriously confused.

First, to put the title of this post in context, understand that Mormons perform their baptisms in “fonts,” found in most local chapels.  They resemble very small indoor pools .  Also keep in mind that Church doctrine requires chastity — meaning that physical intimacy may only be consummated in a lawful marriage between a man and woman — as a prerequisite to Church membership.   The ultimate in marriage is a “sealing” for “time and eternity” solemnized in a temple.  Adult members who are first married in a non-temple ceremony must wait for one year before being sealed in a temple. The Oakland California Temple, in which Corinne and I were sealed, is pictured right.

That said, a pair of Mormon missionaries — non-native-Romanian speakers — began teaching a Romanian couple who had expressed interest in becoming Church members.  When the “investigators” (the prospective members) expressed their desires to make it official by being baptized, the missionaries said, “Great, but there’s just one thing.  Before we can baptize you, you’ll need to get married.”  The investigators appeared startled and began chattering in Romanian at such high speed that the missionaries could not follow the conversation.

Eventually, the investigators turned to the missionaries and said, “OK, we’ve agreed to get married.”  They were married in a civil ceremony and then baptized.  One year later, during their interview for temple eligibility, the interviewing officer said he had heard that their wedding had been a matter of some controversy and asked them to provide more background.

In reply, the wife explained that prior to beginning the missionary lessons, she had never met her husband.  She had just heard that a guy in her apartment block was planning to meet with the missionaries and decided to join the discussions.  When the missionaries dropped the marriage bomb on them, they just figured that adults had to be married before joining the Church.  They were so convinced that the Church was true and that membership was essential that they were willing to do whatever they had to do to get in.  Not knowing Romanian very well, the missionaries had no idea they were playing matchmakers.

Having thus entered into an unintentionally arranged yet happy marriage, this fine couple were now prepared to extend the relationship for eternity through temple sealing.  My sister-in-law heard the story from her parents, now on their own mission in Arkansas, who got it from the then President of the Church’s Romanian Mission.